Chapter 7

The Importance of Interpersonal Skills

• I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than for any other ability under the sun. -John D
• Be courteous to all, but intimate with a few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must under go and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation. -George Washington
• When you are good to others, you are best to yourself. -Benjamin Franklin
• It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some Factors that prevent building and Maintaining Positive Relationships:

1. Selfishness
2. Lack of courtesy
3. Inconsiderate behavior
4. Not meeting commitments
5. Rude behavior
6. Lack of integrity and honesty
7. Self centeredness
8. Arrogance
9. Conceit

• GREED: is like a sea water; the more you drink, the more thirstier you get.
• Egotism is the anesthetic that deadens the pain of stupidity. -Knute Rockne
• Jealousy is...a tiger that tears not only its prey but also its own raging heart. -Michael Beer

• TRUST: All relationships are TRUST relationships.

Factors that build TRUST;

1. Reliability
2. Consistency
3. Respect
4. Fairness
5. Openness
6. Congruence
7. Competence
8. Integrity
9. Acceptance
10. Character
11. Courage

Chapter 6

Self Esteem

• what a man thinks of himself; that is what determines, or rather indicates, his fate. 

-Henry David Thoreau

Some comparison characteristics of people with high and low Self-Esteem:

High Self Esteem                                                  Low Self Esteem

#Talk about ideas                                                    #Talk about people

#Caring Attitude                                                      #Critical attitude

#Humility                                                                 #Arrogance

#Respects authority                                                 #Rebels against authority

#Courage of conviction                                           #Goes along to get along

#Confidence                                                           #Confusion

#Concerned about character                                   #Concerned about reputation

#Assertive                                                              #Aggressive

#Accepts responsibility                                           #Blames the whole world

#Self interest                                                          #Selfish

#Optimistic                                                            #Fatalistic

#Understanding                                                     #Greedy

#Willing to learn                                                    #Know it all

#Sensitive                                                             #Touchy

#Solitude                                                              #Lonely

#Discuss                                                              # Argue

#Guided                                                               #Misguided

#Discipline                                                           #Distorted sense of freedom

#Internally driven                                                 #Externally driven

#Respects others                                                 #Looks down on others

#Enjoy decency                                                   #Enjoy vulgarity

#Knows limits                                                      #Everything goes

#Giver                                                                 #Taker

  

Positive Self Esteem                                            Negative Self Esteem

*Self respect                                                           *Self put down

*Self confidence                                                     *Self doubt

*Self worth                                                             *Self abuse

*Self acceptance                                                     *Self denial

*Self love                                                                *Self centeredness

*Self knowledge                                                      *Self deceit

*Self discipline                                                         *Self indulgence

• Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired but controlling the desire.

-Epictetus

• Our privileges can be no greater than our obligations. The protection of our rights can endure no longer than the performance of our responsibilities. -John F. Kennedy

• Associate yourself with people of good quality if you esteem your reputation,for it is better to be alone than to be in bad company. -George Washington
• Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.

-Brian Adams

• A good beginning makes a good ending. -English proverb

Self Esteem-Building a positive attitude

1. Read life stories of people who have turned negative into positives. Make reading good books or listening to inspirational audio tapes part of your daily routine.
2. Regularly and systematically commit a portion of your time and/or money to charitable activity without any expectations in cash or kind.
3. Stay away from negative influences. Don't give into peer pressure.
4. Practice giving and receiving sincere compliments graciously and gracefully.
5. Start accepting responsibility for your behavior and actions.
6. Practice self discipline even when it is not comfortable.
7. Associate with people of high moral character.
8. Be creative and find ways to turn your weakness into strengths.
9. Practice patience; persevere even if the results are not visible.

Simple Truth About Life

A Simple Truth About:

1. Honesty;

• It is much easier to speak only what is true because lies are just like boomerangs; they will soon come back to you.  

2. Money;

• Possessions do not determine your wealth and that your plastic credit cards are debt-detrimental to your health.

3. Loss;

• When you loss someone who is a part of who you are; time will surely heal the wound, but it wouldn't erase the scar.

4. Stress;

• It is okay to answer "No" with strong tenacity; for even a large porous sponge reaches its capacity.

 5. Success;

• Success should not be measured in what you will buy or own; but in the pride you feel, in the person you are with when you are all alone.

6. Simplicity;

• The phrase "Less is More" is absolutely true; with too much of what you don't need, its hard to find the things you do.

7. Anger;

• The words are permanent; hearts can not be unbroken and saying "I am sorry" can not retrieve angry words that have spoken.

8. First Impressions;

• Not to rely on first impressions for things aren't always as they seem. Sometimes the very smallest player is the best one on the team.

9. And finally A Simple Truth About Life;

• There are certain things that may never be fully understood; for life isn't always fair, but it is still pretty darn good.

Chapter five

Motivation

• Good things come to those who wait, but only those things left by those who hustle. -Abraham Lincoln

What is motivation?

Motivation is a drive that encourages action or feeling. Also mean igniting the spark for action. In other words, motivation can be defined as motive for action. It is a force that can literally change your life.

The greatest enemy of motivation is complacency. Complacency leads to lack of effort, and when people are complacent they don't grow because they can not identify what is needed in their lives.

Internal and External Motivation

1. External Motivation;

• External motivation comes from outsides. Examples are money, fame/fear, recognition, incentives, bonuses, and commission.

     2. Internal Motivation;

• Internal motivation comes from within, such as pride, a sense of achievement, responsibility and belief.

Demotivating Factors:

1. Unfair criticism
2. Negative Criticism
3. Public Humiliation
4. Failure or fear of failure
5. Lack of direction
6. Lack of Measurable Objectives
7. Lack of Priorities
8. Low self-esteem
9. Unfair treatment
10. Hypocrisy
11. Poor standards
12. Frequent changes
13. Responsibility without authority
14. Negative self talk
15. Office politics

Chapter Four

What is Holding us Back

• The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. -Franklin D. Roosevelt

Failure- 20 Reasons Why We Don't Achieve Excellence

• Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears but we never use it. -Charles Schultz

1. Unwillingness to take Risks.
2. Lack of Persistence.

• A man is a hero not because he is braver than anyone else, but because he is brave for ten minutes longer. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

     3. Instant Gratification.

     4. Lack of Priorities.

     5. Looking for shortcuts.

     6. Selfishness and Greed.

     7. Lack of Conviction.

• If you think you can or if you think you can't, you are right. -Henry Ford

    8. Lack of Understanding of Nature's Law.

• All progress is change but all change is not progress.
• Success is not a matter of luck, but of laws. Law of cause and effect. It is like the law of Physics. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
• A man's mind is like a garden. If we plant good seeds, we will have a good garden. But if we don't plant anything, something will grow and that will be weeds. That is nature's law. Furthermore, even if we plant good seeds, weeds would still grow. The process of weeding goes on forever. The same holds true in our lives.

Our Thoughts are Causes;

You sow a thought, you reap an action.

You sow an action, you reap a habit.

You sow a habit, you reap a character.

You sow a character, you reap a destiny.

It all starts with a thought.

    9. Unwillingness to Plan and Prepare.

• Everyone has a will to to win but very few have the will to prepare to win. -Vince Lombardi

Preparation=Purpose+Principle+Planning+practice+Perseverance+Patience+pride.

   10. Rationalizing.

   11. Not learning form Past Mistakes.

• While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior. -Henry C.Link

   12. Inability to Recognize Opportunity.

   13. Fear;

                 F=False

                 E=Evidence

                 A=Appearing

                 R=Real

   14. Inability to use Talent.

   15. Lack of Discipline.

• You have a choice in life: You can either pay the price of discipline or regret. -Tim Connor

   16. Poor Self-Esteem.

   17. Lack of Knowledge.

• Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. -Will Durant

   18. Fatalistic Attitude.

• Weak minded people fall easy prey to fortune-tellers, horoscope and self-proclaimed God men who are sometimes conman.

   19. Lack of Purpose.

• Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. -Washington Irving

   20. Lack of Courage.

Chapter Three

Success

• If you really want to succeed, form the habit of doing things that failures don't like to do.
• Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal. -Earl Nightingale
• I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. -Bill
• Success and happiness go hand in hand. Success is getting what you want and happiness is wanting what you get.
• Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. -William Jennings

Qualities that makes a Person Successful

1. Desire;

• Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.

    2. Commitment;

• Try not to become a success, but rather try to become a man of value. - Albert Einstein

    3. Responsibility;

• A duty which becomes a desire will ultimately become a delight. -George Gritter

    4. Hard Work;

• Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at something worth doing.

    5. Character;

• The critic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. -Oscar Wilde
• Adversity reveals a person's true characters.

   6. Positive Believing;

   7. Give more than you Get;

• If you work for a man, for HEAVEN'S sake work for him. - Kim Hubbard
• Ability without dependability, responsibility and flexibility is a liability.

   8. The Power of Persistence;

   9. Pride of Performance;

• The Quality of work and the quality of the worker are inseparable.

  10. Be a Willing to Be a Student - Get a Mentor

• Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't QUIT. -Conrad Hilton

Chapter Two

How to Build a Positive Attitude

Eight Steps to Attitude Change:

1. Change Focus, Look for the positive.
2. Make a Habit of Doing it Now.

• Never leave till tomorrow, which you can do today. -Benjamin Franklin

     3. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude.

     4. Get into a Continuous Education Program.

• True Education is Training of both the Head and the Heart.

     5. Build a Positive Self Esteem.

     6. Stay away from negative influences.

• Drinking makes a person lose his inhibitions and gives exhibitions.

     7. Learn to Like the Things that Need to be Done.

• Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible. -St. Francis of Assisi

     8. Start Your day with Something Positive.

Chapter one

You Can WIN

ATTITUDE

• A helium filled balloon of many different colors, including red, yellow, blue,and green will go up. But then if we release a black balloon, would that also fly? Definitely it will, it is not the color of the balloon, it is whats inside that makes it go up. 

The same principle applies to our lives. Its whats inside that counts. And whats inside of us that makes us go up is our ATTITUDE.

1. Opportunity is always under our feet. We don't have to go anywhere. All we need to do is recognize it.
2. The grass always looks greener on the other side.
3. People who don't know how to recognize opportunity, complain of noise when it knocks.
4. Opportunity only knocks once. The next one may be better or worse but never the same one.

• Every problem comes with an equal or greater opportunity.
• Just like a great building stands on a strong foundation, so does success. And the foundation of success is ATTITUDE.

Significance of eight different Chortens

1.The Lotus Blossom Chorten;

The Chorten is also known as the Chorten of heaped Lotuses. It refers to the birth of the Buddha. At birth Buddha took seven steps in each of the four directions- East, South, West and North. In each direction lotuses sprang, symbolizing the four immeasurable of love, compassion, joy and equanimity.

The four steps of the basis of the Chorten are circular, and decorated with lotus-petal designs. Seven heaped lotus steps are constructed occasionally. This refers to the seven first steps of the Buddha.

2.The Chorten of Enlightenment;

This enlightenment Chorten is also known as the Chorten of the conquest of Mara. It symbolizes the 35 year old Buddha’s attainment of enlightenment in the village of Magadha in Bodhgaya under the Bodhi tree on the 15th day of the 4th month in the Bhutanese calendar.

It is here that the Buddha subdued all the evils and conquest worldly temptations and attacks manifesting in the form of Mara.

3.The Chorten of many Doors;

The Chorten of many Doors is also known as the Chorten of many gates. After attaining enlightenment, the Buddha taught his first students in a deer park near Sarnath in Varanasi on the 4th day of the Sixth Bhutanese month.

The series of doors on each side of the steps represent the first teachings of the Buddha- the four noble truths, the six perfections and the noble eight-fold path.

4.The Chorten of descent from the God Realm;

At the age of 42, Buddha spent a summer retreat in Tushita Heaven, where his mother had taken rebirth. In order to repay her kindness he taught the dharma to his mother reincarnate. So in order to commemorate this event the local inhabitants built a Chorten on the 22nd day of the 9th Bhutanese month.

This stupa is characterized with a central projection at each side containing a triple ladder or steps.

5.The Chorten of great miracles;

This Chorten refers to various miracles performed by the Buddha when he was 50 years old. Legend claims that he overpowered Maras and heretics by engaging them in intellectual arguments and also by performing miracles.

This Chorten was raised by the Lichavi Kingdom to commemorate the event.

6.The Chorten of reconciliation;

This Chorten commemorated the Buddha’s resolution of a dispute among the Sanga or among the Buddhist community.

“A Chorten in this design was built in the kingdom of Magadha, where the reconciliation occurred.

It has four octagonal steps with equal sides.”

7.The Chorten of complete victory;

When the Buddha was 80 years old, on the request of the king of the evils Buddha decided to attain the state of Parinirvana. But the devotees again requested the Buddha to still stay alive.

So, the Buddha then prolonged his life by three months.

In order to commemorate the prolonged life of Buddha this Chorten of complete victory was built.

It has only three steps, which are circular and unadorned.

8.The Chorten of Nirvana;

This Chorten refers to the death of the Buddha, when he was 80 years old. It symbolizes the Buddha’s complete absorption in to the highest state of mind.

It is bell shaped and usually not ornamented.

The Lam Neten of Wangduephodrang said that building a Chorten is considered extremely beneficial leaving very positive and accumulating merits in one’s life. “At times we should circumambulate the stupa with the inner thought of the teachings of the great masters,” he said.

Buddhists believe destroying or vandalising a stupa on the other hand is considered an extremely negative deed. According to the Lam Neten, such an action is believed to create massive negative karmic imprints leading to the massive future problems during the present stay and even after death.

Four Noble Truths

1. Noble Truth of Suffering

Chasing after the delights of the world, expecting them to bring lasting pleasure, always leads to disappointment. These things are all subject to the miseries of birth, old age, sickness and death. Even when you do find something pleasant how soon do you grow tired of it? None of these 'things' offer any real satisfaction or peace.

2 Noble Truth of the Cause of Suffering

Not being able to be content with what we have or who we are, our mind is filled with a greed or desire and suffering of all types automatically follows. This attitude of selfishness and greediness is the cause of our dissatisfaction, robbing us of our peace of mind.

3. Noble Truth of the End of Suffering

Seeing the suffering that comes from these attitudes we are liberated from our heart and all our suffering and dissatisfaction will come to an end. We shall experience a happiness that is far greater than our ordinary pleasures and a peace that is beyond words.

4. Noble Truth of the Middle Path or the Noble Eight-fold Path

This path leads to the end of all suffering, If we avoid harming all other living beings, if we sharpen and focus our mind, and if we gain wisdom, each of us can reach perfect happiness, the end of all misery. The way to end suffering is to follow the Noble Eight-fold Path namely:

Right Understanding
Right Thought
Right Speech
Right Action
Right Livelihood
Right Effort
Right Mindfulness
Right Concentration

Refreshing

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
2. May be God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
3. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship- and find out you still care for that person.
4. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.
5. When the door of happiness closes, another opens but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.
6. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
7. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.
8. Never say goodbye if you still want to try - never give up if you still feel you can go on - never say you don't love a person anymore if you can't let go.
9. Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed- to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, need to love those who still love although they've been hurt before.
10. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Hope you find the one that makes you smile. 
11. Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person, too.
12. In my hands is this heart. I want you to have it, because I’m so clumsy, so I’m afraid I’ll lose it or easily give it to someone else.
13. Sometimes, it's hard to find words to tell you how much you mean to me. A lot of times, I don't say anything at all. But I hope someday, you'll understand, having you is what I live for.
14. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
15. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Beauty of Nature

Whether one is watching a thrilling thunderstorm or looking up at a mighty tree, the experience of nature is one of awe.

One cannot help but marvel at the intricate design of a single leaf, or the roar of a great waterfall. Time spent in nature is time spent realizing that you don't know it all and that you never will.

A great place for a family to relate to each other is in the beauty of nature. Petty arguments and grudges fall to the wayside in the face of nature's majesty. The earth is meant to be enjoyed by its inhabitants. That includes keeping it in the pristine condition in which it was discovered. Everyone has a part of the earth that they relate to the most. Whether it is a majestic mountain range, a roaring waterfall, a bouquet of flowers, or the calm of the woods, these are places to get to know oneself and build bonds with family.

Life and nature are similar concepts because nature is the study of how life acts and interacts within the circle of existence. When we take the time to examine the beauty of the world around us, we are able to see parallels within our own lives. One who is attuned with nature is attuned with the practice of living. All of nature moves in a spiral as do our personal lives. It is important to spend time in nature because in this way we can become attuned to its wisdom.

Look Outside, see the trees
Watch the flowers in the breeze
Things won't be like this in a year or two
If polluting is all we do
Seize the night
Seize the day
Things won't always be ..........



I have wished a bird would fly away,
And not sing by my house all day;

Have clapped my hands at him from the door
When it seemed as if I could bear no more.

The fault must partly ..........



Thank you all...!!!

Love

To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
Love is a law of nature.
Let us learn to love all life.

A Meaningful Life is not being rich, being

popular, being highly educated or being perfect.
It Is about being real, being humble,being strong and being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others.
It Is only then that we could have a full, happy and contented life.

http://www.godlovesyou.page4.me/

"It is your mind that makes this world." -Buddha.

tsegyal

tsegyal